ALRIGHT, thats it!!!

I just feel so frustrated!!! Its so hard to not let food take control. Even though I know im doing good, I always feel like i could be doing better. I always say, well maybe if I didnt have those trisket crackers for a snack or that spaghetti for dinner, I would lose weight faster and wouldnt look as horrible the next day. I still am not doing more then 900 Per day, but I feel like a week fool inside if I do that bad. My goal to help me lose the weight fast is 500 per day. Thats super hard but doable.
My boyfriend lives with me and he heard me puking in the bathroom this morning and was all grossed out. "eeeww dont come near me if your gonna start that again!" I tryed to assure him it was from the alocohol I drank the previous day, then he got mad about that. When I was feeling weak he walked into the kitchen to see me having a little bowl of cerial with milk and said, "I thought you were gonna stick to your diet, thats milk in there, I thought you said you were gonna do plain oatmeal." and I thought WTF. at first you say if I start puring again you'll be pissed, but now your saying I shouldn't break my deit plan!
I don't know what he wants.